-

and the moment you left me, they were flying high and low.

-

you kept me from throwing those knives.

-

that's when i said STOP. i've had it! i don't want this anymore.

and that's when it hit me: the phone call isn't going to come.




and maybe that's why the sound of the silent phone is bothering me more than ever.

.

and that's when i'm putting that music back on.

.

just when you feel that your heart is about to explode, something unexcepted happens that turns your world back on the right track.

.

turn that anger in to art.

today (just like all days last week) is supposed to be the "first day of the rest of my life". a sort of re-starting point where i bury the bad in the past and get on with myself.
instead, i'm hiding myself in memories of what used, but wasn't supposed to be.
instead, i'm listening one too many times to those tracks, looking one too many times at those pictures and telling myself "just one more photo and i'll put them in the bin after".
because if i live in my memories, they will never die. YOU will never die.

re-start

so.
several decisions later and i will be back on track.
counting on the fall.

.

i tried to make you go to rehab but said nonono.

war

im in war, against the society, against technology, against friends on vacation and definitely against overtime at work, since it really changes my habits.
im doing nothing but sleeping and working right now. NOTHING.
ohwell, maybe i make some phonecalls in swedish and cook some food every now and then, but most of the time, im sleeping/working.
today, i spent an hour at the bank, trying to make those losers understand that theyve been doing more than wrong and that they owe me 600 euros (which, for me is an ENOURM amount).
i came out from the bank a lot lighter, since the stone in my stomach melted and i actually did something that might be called smiling.
the nightmarestartofayear is actually about to get back on track.
and i realized that i have so much to look forward to these months.
im just gonna change my attitude.
and soon, bianca will be home. and my birthday is just a couple of weeks (well, three, to be precise) away (DONT EVER FORGET THE 24th OF MARCH!)
think im gonna write my wishlist, bigtime, soon.