-

still think that you're a bitchtalking motherfucker

-

was scared of falling asleep and not wake up again, so i slept with one eye open all night through and woke up by cocorosie at 5.30.
and then i was definitely too scared to fall asleep again.

-

i've changed adresse so many times over the last three years,
that i actually don't even know what home means anymore

-

it's time for me to leave you behind and deal with my real problems (twice apparently)

-

it's time for me to leave you behind and deal with my real problems

-

i guess i'll remember you the rest of my life, even though there's no one i want to forget as much as i want to forget you

-

they follow me

-

what does it actually even mean, "enough"?

-

enough will apparently never be enough

-

i took my dads car, early one morning when the entire city was asleep.
when i reached the spot i was heading for, i plugged in my ipod, put that play list on and started walking. i didn't have a specific direction, but i some way i ended up going exactly where we had been a couple of months earlier, the place that i, from that day consider as ours, even though i less or more grew up there and i ever only brought you once.
but i know that while standing there, hands in hands, with the heavy forest in our backs and the great lake in front of us, you fell in love with my country.
and maybe i was just heading for memories or maybe i had actually fallen in love with my country again.

i'm dreaming of that place at least once a week

-

eternal sunshine of the spotless mind
you would be my savior if it actually was possible

-

the same thing every time.
i just can't behave when i'm single.

-

i guess i'm pretty empty.
after 10 hours of work, the only thing i do is chainsmoking
(and eating candy)

-

if i met you on the street now, i'd probably tell you to fuck off

we've known each other for three and a half years now.
from my side, it was definitely love at first sight.
i loved straight away how you took me in your arms, and even though i felt lonely every now and then, you pushed me to get to know new people and i know that you were always right behind me.
when you cry, i cry as well.
whenever i leave you, doesn't matter if it's for three days or three weeks, i just want to come back.
of course we've had fights, we still do. we disagree on a lot, but in the end, we can't really live without each other
i doubt that i'll ever manage to leave you, paris.

--

-

j'ai tout ce qu'il faut pour te dire les deux mots,
mais je ne le ferai pas.

-

of all the words you said
these won't leave my head
you will always be a little side of me

-

you sent me a text message once, asking if i wanted to come along to this sort of exhibition-thing that a friend of yours organised in the suburb.
"why not, it can't be anything but fun" i remember thinking.
we didn't really knew each other by then, we had almost only spent time together with other people among us.
it was quite far away and you didn't trust me when i said i'd find the way anyway.
of course i did, as i always do and you were amazed.

we spent the entire evening going through weird corridors with even weirder art installations, taking photos and laughing as if we had known each other for ages.
and we drank belgian disgusting beer. lots of it.

we left the place without remembering how we got to the metro.
the only thing i remember is us dancing all the way, with MIA - paper planes playing out loud on my phone. and we sang along so loud that the entire area must have heard us.
i almost forgot to get off the metro at my stop, and maybe i didn't really wanted to get off either.
maybe i didn't wanted to leave my newfound best friend.

i know see you as my sister B.

-

tonight,
i'm sure that all i'm waiting for is somewhere near,
and i'm not even leaving my apartment.

-

better times, will you ever be my friend?

-

for some weeks now, maybe a month, i've unconsciously started to prepare for the phone call from the +46-country. with my mums voice, trying to hide the stress and anxiousness.
even though nothing has happened before and she's in a (relatively) good condition, i can't deny the fact that my grandma is getting older.

and yesterday, the first phone call like that came

-

i've done so many stupid things, that i can't even answer the question "what is the most stupid thing you've ever done?"

-

in most ways, i agree with the fact that it was probably for the better, even though it forced me to pass months of being unstable, doing even worse things than we did together.
but it's hard to move on and leave it behind without a real explanation, just having to accept facts, and most certainly, accept that life is nothing but a big bitch.

i'm still not there yet, but i'm getting there.
my surroundings, all the ones i've called in the middle of the night when i couldn't sleep, the ones i've yelled at when being to emotional etc, all say that i've changed.
that i'm more cynical.
i agree, and i damn you for that.
(karma)

-

it's insane how my mood can change just because of 43, well selected or not, tiny words

-

i spend
one day of silly happiness,
two days of emotional coma,
two days of pure depression,
one day of "i'm gonna be fine, i just have to empty my heart"
and one day of absolutely nothing at all

-

i want you back
i love you
i want you back
i love you
i want you back

-

i must have managed to fall asleep at some point,
cause indeed, i woke up

-

i can't sleep with the lights on, i can't sleep with the lights off.
i can't sleep alone and i can't sleep together with anyone.
i can't sleep without music and i can't sleep with it.
insomnia.
i should be used to it now, but i'm not sure i'll ever be.

i was wearing heels for god know what reason, since we took the scooter and went to your suburb, almost too far for the train.
the temperature is always about two degrees below paris out there, and you feel it even more on the scooter.
you wanted to show me were you grew up and i was happy to get away from the bad air and the noise, even though it was only for an afternoon.

you had been talking about your forest and that you wanted to bring me there, to your spot.
when i couldn't walk downhill in my heels you carried me on your back, all the way, through the mud, on the stones for about ten minutes before we reached it.

it was sunny inbetween the trees, but the cold wind found its way through a little bit too easy, on the late april afternoon and you held me tight when i said i should had brought an extra cardigan.

i don't know for how long we were out there, but it could as well has been 20 minutes as three hours, i honestly can't tell. and every two minutes we stopped whatever we were doing, whatever we spoke about, and we kissed, like if there was no tomorrow.
the only thing that existed right then, was us.
not until an old woman passed by with the words "aah, les amoureux. c'est beau!" we woke up from our world.

and that's the moment i knew i was in love.

-

we drink to die,
we drink tonight

-

please dear,
can you stop fucking up my world everytime i think it's turning back onto the right track?

-

i think it's a bad sign that i'm listening to crystal castles again.

-

and we were lovers,
now we can't be friends
fascination ends

-

these sunday nights will probably kill me one day

-

everything they say about me is true

-

as long as i know where you are, i won't be doing any good

-

rockin' in the club, catch me on an elephant

-

today, i almost went there
twice

-

3 things:
- what guy would turn down a booty call when it's served on a silver plate?
- how is it possible to lose your keys the moment you get in to your own apartment?
- why did god make sure that HE got a job in a store 5 minutes from my store?

-

damn where is the fucking trust?

-

fresh meat on the table
(no, i'm still a vegetarian)

-

dear santa,
i know that christmas is still far away, but i thought that exceptions can be made every now and then.

if you could let me sleep in the arms of a man who cares about me, someone who looks me deep in to the eyes and no words are neccessary, someone who holds me tight in the sleep and breath into my neck, i promise i'll eat all my spinach, everyday.

sincerely
malin

-

i keep finding new pieces everywhere, and i wonder if this puzzle is going to take a lifetime to finish?

-

i'm actually supposed to wake up in 3 hours to go out and run.
that won't happen